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Paraprosdokian: 40 Funny Sentences You Won't Expect

  By Jennifer Gunner, M.Ed. Education, Senior Writer A paraprosdokian is a sentence or statement with an unexpected ending. It means “against expectations” in Greek, and typically puts the first part of the sentence in a new and humorous context. Keep reading for examples of well-known paraprosdokians from comedy, literature, and music. Funny Paraprosdokian Sentence Examples Using these figures of speech in a joke, piece of writing, or a song can expertly twist your meaning. They keep an audience engaged and aware of a comedian’s ability with wordplay. When you start reading examples of paraprosdokians, you’ll find that they make up the punchline of some hilarious and sophisticated one liners! Paraprosdokians From Comedians Henny Youngman’s famous joke “Take my wife – please!” is perhaps the most well-known example of a paraprosdokian in comedy. You expect that he’s using his wife as an example for a joke, but then indicates he wants you to literally take her away by adding the punchli
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Remember, We All Grow Old With Time

Father's handprints Father had grown old and would take support of the wall while walking. As a result, the walls had discoloured, wherever he used to touch and his fingerprints got printed on the walls. My wife detected this and would often complain about the dirty-looking walls. One day, he was having a headache, so he massaged some oil onto his head. So while walking oil stains were formed on the walls. My wife screamed at me after seeing this. I in turn shouted at my father and spoke to him rudely, advising him not to touch the walls while walking. He looked hurt. I also felt ashamed of my behaviour but did not say anything to him. Father stopped holding the wall while walking. And fell down one day. He became bedridden and left us shortly. I felt guilt in my heart and could never forget his expressions and forgive myself for his demise shortly thereafter. After some time, we wanted to get our house painted. When the painters came, my son, who adored his grandfather, did not

Dictator, Democrat: Public Perceptions And Facts

Bengaluru: India has been acknowledged as the biggest democracy in the world since the previous century after the country attained freedom from the clutches of the British. There have been periodic elections regularly but during the emergency considered the black chapter for banning the fundamental rights of the citizens. Dictator controversy: Maybe after the dubious stint of emergency giving rise to a second struggle for freedom, the controversial decision also paved the way for a new series of accusations against Indira Gandhi. Indira Priyardarshini Gandhi popularly known as Indira Gandhi served the country as the third Prime Minister from 1966 to 1977 and later from 1980 until her assassination in 1984. Decades later, she continues to be termed as a dictator while at the helm of affairs of the party and country. Samarendra Kundu's revelation: Samarendra Kundu, a Janata Dal leader had come to Bengaluru when the Janata Pariwar parties were in power during the earlier eighties. H

Niranjan Mukundan Bags 4 Golds, One Silver and Two Bronze Medals

Niranjan Mukundan has finished off the Norwegian Swimming Championships aka Bergen Swim Festival 2024 with 4 golds, 1 silver and 2 bronze (a couple of seasons' best times and PBs) Niranjan is currently in Bergen, Norway taking part in the Norwegian Swimming Championships aka Bergen Swim Festival 2024 and won 4 golds, 1 Silver and 2 Bronze medals. This competition had around 800+ swimmers from 12 countries competing to be the best. Here are his accomplishments in the Norwegian Swimming Championships aka Bergen Swim Festival 2024 : 1. Gold in 50m butterfly, 200m freestyle, 200m breaststroke and 400m freestyle. 2. Silver in 100m Freestyle. 3. Bronze in 50m freestyle and 50m breaststroke. Niranjan is inching closer towards the Paralympic “A” qualifying time in the 50m butterfly event. First Indian Paralympian to join the 100 medal club: Niranjan Mukundan has created a new history by becoming the first Indian Paralympian sportsperson to join the 100 medal club by winning 100 internation

Why India Must Know About Baisakhi

Why India Must Know About Baisakhi While the Sikhs celebrate Vaisakhi across India; Rest of India wonders if it is about doing Bhangra and dancing. No, it is not; Baisakhi holds a lesson for all Indians. Specially in this day and age. So this day in 1699, in a congregation of people from all across India...standing there listening to their Guru the then, Gobind Rai. Gobind Rai asked for human sacrifice of five men one after the other. Five men from different castes from different parts of India stood up from the crowd of thousands. 1) - A shopkeeper, Baniya called Daya Ram from Lahore 2) - A farmer, Jat called Dharam Das from Meerut 3) - A so called low-caste water carrier, called Himmat Rai from Jagannath Puri, Odisha 4) - A tailor, of Cheemba caste called Mokam Chand from Dwarka, Gujarat 5) - A barber, of Naai caste called Sahib Chand from Bidar, Karnataka With his choice of disciples from five different corners of India, Gobind Rai ji visualised the national dream... from the coast

Paraprosdokians

Paraprosdokians The first time I heard about paraprosdokians, I liked them. Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected & is frequently humorous. 1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it. 2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.... but it's still on my list. 3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong. 5. We never really grow up.... we only learn how to act in public. 6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left. 7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. 8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. 9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. 10. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. 11. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure. 12

Kakkan: The Minister Who Slept On The Platform Bench!

When  Kamaraj was the Tamil Nadu Chief Minister, he had Seven Ministers in his Cabinet. P Kakkan (1909-1981) was one among them in the Cabinet. He was given the following portfolios: HOME PWD AGRICULTURE IRRIGATION ANIMAL HUSBANDRY POLICE JAILS PRISON FINANCE EDUCATION LABOUR PROHIBITION. He was Cabinet Minister for 10 years. While touring, he used to wash his clothes (himself). Once he toured Trichy. He missed the train. The next train was on the next day morning. He never approached anyone including the railway staff. He just SLEPT ON THE RAILWAY PLATFORM BENCH. At midnnight, railway police woke him up with the POLICE LATHIS. The police asked him who are you? You cannot sleep here. Go away. He replied “ Sir. My name is Kakkan. I am the Minister for the Police and Home Department. I will leave once the train arrives in the morning. The Policemen were shocked. Sir our apologies to you. Forgive us.  Sir, you can stay in the first-class waiting room.  He replied; No. This comfort is suff

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence A car ahead was moving like a turtle and not giving me way in spite of my continuous honking! I was on the brink of losing my cool when I noticed the small sticker on the car’s rear! “Physically challenged; Please be patient.” And that changed everything!! I immediately went calm & slowed down!! In fact, I got a little protective of the car & the driver!!! I reached home a few minutes late, but it was ok! And then it struck me. Would I have been patient if there was no sticker? Why do we need stickers to be patient with people!? Will we be more patient & kind with others if people had labels pasted on their foreheads? Labels like — “ Lost my job”, “Fighting cancer”, “Going through a bad divorce”, “Suffering Emotional abuse", "Lost a loved one”, “Feeling worthless”, “Financially broken”, ....and more like these!! Everyone is fighting a battle we know nothing about. The least we can do is to be patient, kind & compassionate. Let us resp

When you have nothing better to do, just try answers for these!

When you have nothing better to do, just try answers for these! 1. If poison expires, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous? 2. Which letter is silent in the word "Scent," the S or the C? 3. Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned? 4. Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn't it be called double V? 5. Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and It just takes 75-100 years to fully work. 6. Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty. 7. The word "swims" upside-down is still "swims" 8. 100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses. 9. If you replace "W" with "T" in "What, Where and When", you get the answer to each of them. Six great confusions still unresolved 1. At a movie theatre, which armrest is yours? 2. If people evolved from monkeys, why are monkeys still around? 3. Why is there a 'D

LS Polls 2024: BJP Amidst Party men Challenges in Multiple Constituencies

Bengaluru: The Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) is facing an uphill task in multiple Lok Sabha constituencies of the state, thanks to the stripping of party re-nomination for sitting MPs on one hand and denial of tickets to the aspirants. Compared to the panic-like challenging atmosphere in the initial stage, it looks to have become a viable situation following hectic parleys by the party leaders. Subdued feelings galore: On the face of it the party is putting a brave face front and is in a jubilant mood of somehow managing to address the initial bickering in the first round. However, the solace looks like the tip of the iceberg as most of the sitting MPs’ who have been denied a chance to contest once again have gone into a subdued feelings mode. In public, they have been claiming to toe the party lines, but what they are thinking in their innermost mind is not clear even to their close followers and strategy managers. Bidar, a tough proposition: Bhagawanth Khuba, Union Minister of Stat

Sumangala Mummigatti: A Science Broadcaster Par Excellence

Bengaluru: Science education, science communication, popularisation of science, and inculcating scientific temper and culture are inherently challenging tasks before the scientific community. Doing this job on the Radio in the absence of visual and illustrative aids is furthermore a challenge. AIR Bengaluru led by Dr H R Krishnamurthy and Sumangala S Mummigatti was the pioneer and stood as a bedrock of science broadcasts to set trends for AIR stations all over the country through its wide and impactful work of huge magnitude. An outstanding science broadcaster: Sumangala S Mummigatti took over the responsibility of Science programmes at AIR Bengaluru in 1993 and soon rose to become an exceptional Science broadcaster, writer, guide, trainer, motivator and change maker. She worked relentlessly with an exemplary degree of dedication, conviction and focus. Schooling and college education: She was born in Hubballi on 4th November and had her schooling and college education at Dharwad, Be

Desiderata: Original Text

Desiderata: Original Text This is the original text from the book where Desiderata was first published. Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affe

Maori Poem by Tieme Ranapiri

  Maori Poem by Tieme Ranapiri  My Law  The sun may be clouded, yet ever the sun Will sweep on its course till the Cycle is run. And when into chaos the system is hurled Again shall the Builder reshape a new world. Your path may be clouded, uncertain your goal: Move on for your orbit is fixed to your soul. And though it may lead into darkness of night The torch of the Builder shall give it new light. You were. You will be! Know this while you are: Your spirit has travelled both long and afar. It came from the Source, to the Source it returns The Spark which was lighted eternally burns. It slept in a jewel. It leapt in a wave. It roamed in the forest. It rose from the grave. It took on strange garbs for long aeons of years And now in the soul of yourself It appears. From body to body your spirit speeds on It seeks a new form when the old one has gone And the form that it finds is the fabric you wrought On the loom of the Mind from the fibre of Thought. As dew is drawn upwards, in rain t

When Punjab Chief Minister's Son Was Paraded On Underwear

Year, 1959, Place Amritsar. Some Indian Army Officers & their wives went to the Railway Station to see off one of their colleagues. Some goons made lewd remarks against the women & tried to molest them. The Army Officers chased the goons who took shelter in a nearby Cinema Theatre. The matter was reported to Commanding Officer Col Jyothi Mohan Sen. On learning about the incident, the Col ordered the Cinema Hall to be surrounded by troops. All the goons were dragged out, the leader of the goons was so heady and drunk with power; he was none other than the son of Chief Minister of Punjab, Pratap Singh Kairon, a close associate of the then PM, Jawahar Lal Nehru. All the goons were stripped to their underwear, paraded in the streets of Amritsar & later interned in the Cantonment. The next day, the Chief Minister became furious & tried to release his son from Indian Army's incarceration. Do you know what happened? His vehicle was not allowed to go into the Cantonment a

God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE)

Internet genesis In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy (Dot for short). Dot Com was a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com. And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?" And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?" And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)." Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate su

Labour Perception Bias

Labour Perception Bias In the fast-paced world we inhabit, there is a prevailing notion that the value of time is directly proportional to the effort invested. We often equate success with arduous labour and are sceptical when solutions appear too swift or effortless. However, hidden beneath this common perception lies a fascinating phenomenon known as the 'Labor Perception Bias.' In 1998, Citibank & The Travelers Insurance Company merged. They hired legendary designer Paula Scher to create a new logo. In their first meeting, on a napkin, Scher drew what became the iconic Citi logo. As Scher got up to leave the room, someone from the Citi team asked, "How can it be that it’s done in a second?" “It’s done in a second and 34 years," Scher replied. “ It’s done in a second & every experience and everything that’s in my head.” As Scher became a master of her craft, she experienced an interesting problem, "A lot of clients like to buy the process," sh

LS Polls: Power Position, Prestige and Money Bags Haunt Ministers

Bengaluru: The 2024 Lok Sabha polls have paved the way for many dubious firsts hitherto unheard of in the electoral history of the state. Children and close relatives of 10 Indian National Congress (INC) ministers plunging into electoral waters is one such feat while the power position, prestige and money bags are at stake for all these ministers. At the behest of Gandhi scion: Inside sources of the state Congress party confide that the proposal of the sitting ministers’ sons, daughters and relatives contesting the polls was not floated by either DK Shivakumar, Deputy Chief Minister cum Karnataka Pradesh Congress Committee (KPCC) President or Siddaramaiah, Chief Minister. The idea was proposed by the concerned ministers directly with Rahul Gandhi, former president of the All India Congress Committee (AICC) and agreed upon. No party funds for campaigning: It is also revealed that it was also agreed upon by the sitting ministers not to expect party funds for campaigning and the entire

Today's Words: Capitulate, Menagerie, Inimitable, Salubrious

Capitulate  To capitulate means to give in to something. If your parents refuse to raise your allowance, you might try to argue until they capitulate.  To capitulate is to surrender outright or to give in under certain terms. Either way, you’re agreeing to something you don’t really want. Menagerie  A diverse or miscellaneous group. 1. The office is a menagerie of egotists and sycophants. 2. Isadora arrived with her menagerie of admirers. 3. The whole menagerie produced just a single litter. 4. Leverich also staged "The Glass Menagerie " here. Inimitable So good or unusual as to be impossible to copy; unique. "They took the charts by storm with their inimitable style" Incapable of being imitated or copied; surpassing imitation; matchless. Very unusual or of very high quality and therefore impossible to copy: your own inimitable style/way  He was describing, in his own inimitable style/way, how to write a best-selling novel. He had an inimitable style that captured p

2024 Lok Sabha Polls: Issues Come To The Fore

Bengaluru: Perhaps for the first ever time in the poll history of Karnataka the electorate of the state is engrossed with issues from whatever sense you try to look at. Thanks to the announcement of the five guarantees by the Indian National Congress (INC) on the eve of the May 2023 Assembly elections and the subsequent implementation have given rise to discussions on the public platforms over the same. Five guarantees lead to victory: According to a survey conducted by Eedina.com, an online Kannada portal the five guarantees of the Congress have been showered with an overwhelming drifting of votes in its favour in the last general elections. Interestingly now, the same five guarantees have transformed into a hot topic for discussion in the current Parliamentary verdict. Freebies pave way for imbroglio: The populist welfare schemes like Gruha Jyothi extending 200 units of free electricity to every household, Gruha Lakshmi giving Rs 2,000/- to women head of BPL family, Anna Bhagya di

People’s Burning Problems Take A Backseat To Lok Sabha Polls

Bengaluru: The people of Karnataka are reeling under a series of burning problems to no avail but none of the contesting parties or their representatives seems to be perturbed over the alarming predicament. Interestingly even the voters or the general public appear to be least perplexed over the serious development adversely affecting their normal life and livelihood. Not a subject for discussion: But for a few letters in the Letters to the Editor columns of some regional language newspapers anyone going through their online editions sitting elsewhere across the globe is bound to form an opinion that everything is well in their home state. However, the situation on the ground is quite paradoxical and worrisome. Soaring mercury…: March 2024 remained exceptionally dry in the whole of the state while Mercury roared to 36.6 degrees centigrade dubbed to be the highest since 2019 and none of the 16 India Metrological Department (IMD) observatories in South Karnataka recorded any rainfall.